Why Guys Don’t Text Back
By Nick Bastion/Vixen Daily
The question, “Why didn’t he text me back?” comes up over and over again – and it’s pretty obvious why.
Nearly every woman has had her own experience with that situation – from mild anxiety over why he wasn’t texting back to a full blown panicky freakout.
This is a situation where a woman can feel totally “in the dark” as to a guy’s intentions – and her brain can start to fill in all sorts of details and assumptions about his actions that turn an ordinary, ‘no-stress’ situation into a full blown panic attack.
The truth is, there could be any one of a million reasons why he didn’t text back. He could have been busy. His phone could have been out of battery. He could have missed your text and not checked his phone. He could have been at work. He could have been doing something that he didn’t want to break his attention.
So if this is something that doesn’t happen often – don’t worry. Situations and circumstances conspire to keep people away from their phones, and if it’s not a habit with him, you can relax.
However – if it is a habit, or if he suddenly stopped texting you back, then chances are that he’s not texting you back because he doesn’t feel like it.
Don’t panic! It’s not the end of the world! It doesn’t mean that he hates you!
It just means that he doesn’t feel like texting you back right away.
I’m being blunt, because being blunt is the best way to give you the truth – so that you can avoid this problem in the future. I’m not going to sugar coat something or lie to you to make you feel better – because that hurts you in the long run. I’m going to give you the truth, so that things like this become simple, rather than panic-attack inducing.
I’m sure you’ve done the same exact thing. You got a text from someone, read it, and inwardly, you felt an “Ugh, I don’t want to respond to this person right now.”
Now, the question isn’t, “Why didn’t he text me back?” The question is, “What did I do that made him not feel like texting me back?”
And the answer to that question is really quite simple – and it’s the real reason men don’t text back.
You turned him off because your text felt “needy”.
And before you jump on me and tell me that it’s not fair or OK for me to call a woman’s behavior “needy”, first let me explain exactly what I mean. (I’m just trying to be helpful here).
This isn’t a “woman” thing either – it applies equally to both women and men.
Let me give you an example. Have you ever had a friend that complained all the time to you? Where every conversation you had centered around their problems?
A friend that you KNOW if you ignored their text or call they’d get upset and angry with you.
How quickly would you start to dread their calls? To roll your eyes when you got their texts?
Obviously – this is an extreme example – but it illustrates the most important point.
The reason it feels bad for you to answer that person’s texts or calls is because you know they’re not going to be “OK” if you don’t answer. Answering them isn’t fun or enjoyable anymore – it’s a burden.
Let’s apply this to a guy. If he feels that you’re not going to be “OK” unless he answers your text – it’s going to feel like a burden for him to answer, instead of fun.
And if it feels bad to him in the moment – he’s going to put it off, or avoid it altogether.
That’s why guys develop habits of not answering texts. Guys are very simple – they move towards what feels good to them in the moment and they move away from things that feel bad to them in the moment.
You might ask, “How would he know whether I’m going to be “OK” if he does or doesn’t answer my text?
And the answer is something I like to call ‘vibe’.
Your vibe comes directly from your mood – and it’s going to show up in everything you do and say. You know how someone can be acting cheerful – but deep down you can tell they’re unhappy? That’s vibe.
Vibe can’t be faked. It comes from how you’re genuinely feeling in the privacy of your own mind – and it always comes through.
So even if someone tries to fake being “fine” but really they’re upset – that comes through in their vibe, and you can feel it.
Well, your vibe is going to come through in your text messages. And no matter how light, fun, or flirty you TRY to make them – if you’re feeling anxious that he’s not going to text back… and you won’t be OK if he doesn’t text back… he’s going to be able to feel that.
This is what it’s all about. If you get your vibe right, it will feel light, fun, and effortless to respond to your texts. If your vibe is bad, and you’re depending on him texting you back to feel OK, then it’s going to feel like a chore or a burden for him to respond – and he won’t want to.
So the best way to get him to WANT to text you back – and to delightedly text you back – is to make sure your vibe is good before you text him.
And the best way to make sure your vibe is good before you text him is to focus on your mood.
Do the things that make you happy. Make sure that if he doesn’t text back, you have other plans – so that it’s not the end of the world. Do everything you can to make your mood as good as possible – and to make sure that you’ll be OK whether or not he texts back.
When you do that, your mood will be great, which will naturally come through in your vibe. Then, when he gets your text, he’ll sense your good vibe, and want to be near it.
Remember, it’s unpleasant and draining to be around a negative friend that always complains – because their vibe is bad. It’s pleasant and energizing to be around someone whose mood is good – and whose vibe is good.
And like I said before – men are really simple. They want to be around things that make them feel good, and they want to move away from things that make them feel bad.
So if your vibe is good – he’ll feel good around you, and want to be around you, and text you back so that you can spend more time with each other.
Just focus on your vibe, which means getting your mood right. Everything after that naturally falls into place.
Vixendaily.com is the only site out there that specializes in mind-reading quizzes, content and advice tailored to your particular needs. It’s like having your own personal mentor guiding you through life’s challenges every step of the way!
It was founded by dating and relationship expert, Nick Bastion, who is the main contributor to the Love & Relationship Advice section of the site.